Stages in career Development

Stages in career Development

A career is defined as a sequence of positions occupied by a person during the course of a lifetime.

The popular way of analyzing the career is to look at them as made up of stages. There are five stage models that is applicable to the most people during their work life.

Career stages model is the most popular way to view careers.

· Exploration is when individuals are exploring possible career options and making critical choices.

· Establishment begins with the search for work and getting that first job.

· Mid-career is when an individual is no longer seen as a "learner."

· Late career is when an individual can share his or her knowledge with others in the organization.

· Decline is when an individual leaves the work force.

Career stages:

Stage 1: Exploration

This stage includes a person’s earliest recollection of “what I want to be when I grow up” and the revisions on that dream as the person commits to his or her career work. This stage is usually heavily affected by spoken and unspoken messages that people receive from family or significant others regarding what their life path or journey should be. The messages are usually from a person’s elders about their desire for the type of work the person should do, where he or she should live, and spiritual dimensions and lifestyle such as choice of a partner, number of children, and so forth.

Many to the critical choices individual make about their carrier are made prior to every entering the work on a paid basis our parents relatives, teachers as well as what we see on television and films very early in our parents their interests, their aspirations and their financial resources will be heavy factors in determining out planets, their interests, their aspirations and their financial resources will be heavy factors in determine out perception of what carriers are available.

The exploration period ends for most in our mid-twenties as we get employed. From an organisation stand point. This stage has less relevance, since it occurs prior to employment. It is of course not irrelevant. The exploration period is when a number of expectations abt ones career are developed, many of which are unrealistic.

Stage 2: Establishment

The establishment period begins with the search for work and includes getting your first job being accepted by your peers, learning the job and gaining the first tangible evidence of success of or failure in the 'real world'.

It is a time that brings the uncertainties and anxieties. Additionally it also marked by the making of mistakes, learning from these mistakes and gradual assumption of increased responsibilities. However individuals in this stage have yet to reach their peak productivity and rarely are they given work assignment that carry great power or high stages.

At this stage, people bring with them a list of potential life and work options. The activities of this stage help people assess and understand their competency strengths; personality traits; abilities; interests; learning-style, work-style, and work-environment preferences; and personal, interpersonal, work, and cultural values. At this stage, people usually receive detailed information from having completed formal or informal appraisal instruments, checklists, simulations, interviews, and so forth. The output contains highly specific information about a person, including the effect of his or her value systems on personal preferences. People can use that appraisal information to revise the options they developed in the exploration stage.

Stage 3: Mid-Career

Most people do not face their first career dilemmas until they reach the mid-carrier stage this is a time where individual may continue their prior improvements in performance level off or begin to deteriorate. At this stage the first dilemma is accepting that on is no longer seen as a learner. Mistakes carry greater penalty. At this point in a career one is expected to have moved beyond apprenticeship to journeyman status. To those who make the successful transition go greater responsibilities and rewards. For others it may be a time of reassessment, job changes, adjustment of priorities or the pursuit of alternative life styles.

This is a delicate stage of career work because the outputs must be grounded in reality to the greatest degree possible. If they aren’t realistic, people are likely to experience frustration or disappointment later on. That could cause them to be discouraged, which could lead to abandoning any further effort. Thus, the decision-making process should result in a set of realistic career work goals, given the information available at the time.

Stage 4: Late Career

For those who continue to grow through the mid-carrier stage the late carrier usually is a pleasant time when one is allowed the luxury to relax a bit and enjoy playing the part of the elder state man. It is a time their one rest on one's laurels and both in the respect given by younger employees. During the late career days, individuals are no longer learning nor is it expected that they should out do their levels of performance from previous years. Their value to the organisation lies heavily in their judgment, built up over so many years and through varied experiences and sharing with and teaching others based on the knowledge they have gained.

For those who have stagnated or deteriorated during the previous stage the late career brings the reality that they will not have an everlasting impact or change the world as they had once thought. It is a time when individuals recognize that they have decreased work mobility and may be locked to their current job. One begins to look forward to retirement and the opportunities of doing something different life off the job is likely lot carry for greater importance then it did in earlier days.

Stage 5: Decline

The final stage in one's carrier is difficult for everyone but ironically is probably hardest on those who had continued successes in earlier stages. After several decades of continued achievements and high level of performance, time for retirement has reached. These individuals are forced to step out of the limelight and give up major component of their identity. For the most performers or those who have seen their performance deteriorate over the years. It may be pleasant time. The frustrations that have been associated with work will be left behind.

Adjustments of course will have to be made regardless of whether one is leaving a sparkling career or a dismal career. The regimentation that work provides will no longer be there. Responsibilities will be fewer in life and will be less structured. As a result it is a difficult stage for anyone to confront.

The Dream Stealer

The Dream Stealer

There was once a young girl who was very fond of dancing. Her skill in dancing was extraordinary and surpassed her dancing friends that she often appeared as the champion in many competition held. She thought, with what she possess at that time, one day later when she grew up, she would want to be a world class dancer. She imagined herself dancing in Russia, China, America, Japan, being watched by thousands of people giving applause to her on salutation.

One day, the city she resided in was visited by a dancing expert proffessional who came from abroad. This dancing expert was very fascinating, from his hands have been born out world class dancers. The young girl desired very much to dance and exhibit her prowess in front of the teacher, or even if possible, to be one of his pupil. Finally the opportunity came at last. The young girl managed to meet with the teacher behind the screen after his performance was over. The young girl asked "Sir, i really want to be a wold-class dancer. Can you give me a moment of your time, to judge my dancing skill? I want to know what you think of my dance." "Fine, dance then for 10 minutes", the expert responded.

Not even 10 minutes have passed, the teacher stood up from his chair, and left the place without saying any word to the young girl. How broken heart the young girl was upon that. The girl immediately ran out, reaching her home, she cried and cried. She began hating herself. Afterall, the dance that she had been proud of all those years were nothing at all for the teacher. She then get hold of her dancing shoes and threw it in the garbage. Since then, she swore not ever to dance anymore.

Several decades have passed, now the young girl have became a mother with three children. Her husband had passed away. And to feed her family, she had to work as waitress in a restaurant at the corner of a street.

One day, there was a dance exhibition being held in the city. The same expert could be seen behind the young dancers behind the platform. The expert looked much older, with his hair whitening. The mother with her children went to see the dance show. After the show, the mother brought her three children into the back, looking for the teacher, and introduced him to her three children. The old teacher still recognize her, and so they converse with each other enjoyfully.

The mother asked, "Sir, i still have one thing that still bothers me. It was about me performing in front of you many many years ago. Was my perfomance that bad that you leave straight away?" "Oh yes, I remembered it. Frankly speaking, I never have ever seen in my life such beautiful dance that you showed me at that time. I was even sure that you would surely become a world-class dancer, but i was dumbfounded how you suddenly stopped from the world of dancing", answered the teacher.

The young mother was extremely shocked hearing it. "This is not fair!", she exclaimed. "Your attitude had stolen all my dreams! If it was true that my dance was good, why did you just leave me that way when i had just only danced for several minutes? You should have praised me, not ignoring me like that. I am supposed to be a world-class dancer right now, not just a waitress!"
The teacher answered calmly with his wisdom, "No...No, I think I have done what I thought was right. You don't need to drink a barrel of wine to know that the wine is good. The same goes with me. I didnt need to watch you for 10 minutes to prove that your dance was good. That night I was also very exhausted after the show. So I was thinking to leave you for a moment, to get you my name card, and hoped that you would contact me again the next day. But then you were not there anymore when i returned. And another thing that I have to remind you, that You should focus on your dreams not, on what I say or what I do or what the world say! Then applause? So you expected praise and applause? Ah, maybe at that time you were still growing, young lady. Praise like a dobule edged sward. at some times it will motivate you, at the other times it will weaken you. And the fact is that I had observed that most of the PRAISE GIVEN TO A GROWING CHILD, WILL JUST MAKE HIM/HER FEEL SATISFIED OF THE CURRENT PROGRESS AND HINDERS FURTHER GROWTH. I EVEN PREFER TO IGNORE YOU, AS IT SUPPOSEDLY CAN ROCKET YOUR PROGRESS. Besides, praise is something that should come from myself, not something that you should ask for."

"You see, this was actually only a small matter. If only at that time you didnt ignore what happened and kept on dancing, you would have became a very great world-class dancer. Ypu might hurt at that time but it will dissipate quickly once you keep on practising again.But the hurt emerged from this regret today will never disappear for the rest of your life..."

TAKE CARE

TAKE CARE

Take care when you choose what to say.
For once your words are spoken,
they cannot be recalled.

Take care when you choose the thoughts
to hold in your mind.
For the quality of your life is determined
by the quality of your thoughts.

Take care when you choose
what to do with your time.
Time passes quickly no matter what you do,
so your best option is to make the very most of it.

Take care when setting the goals you will follow,
and choose those that are truly yours.
You're far more likely to attain those goals
that have real meaning and are in line
with your own special purpose.

Take care when living this day, this moment,
this life with which you have been so richly blessed.

Take care, enjoy, appreciate, and value it all.
Take care, for there is so very much for which to live.

Some Great Management Sayings...

Some Great Management Sayings...

“Men and women want to do a good job, a creative job,
and if they are provided the proper environment, they
will do so.”
—Bill Hewlett, Co-founder, Hewlett-Packard


“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be
what we know we can be.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Ultimately, we’re talking about redefining the relationship
between boss and subordinate.”
—Jack Welch, Former CEO, General Electric

“It’s surprising how much you can accomplish, if you
don’t care who gets the credit.”
—Abraham Lincoln

“Trust—the glue that binds followers and leaders
together.”
—Warren Bennis

“Next to knowing all about your own business”
the best thing is to know all about the
other fellow’s business
—John D. Rockefeller, Founder, Standard Oil

“Not failure, but low aim, is crime.”
—James Russell Lowell


“There is nothing that is a more certain sign of insanity
than to do the same thing over and over and expect the
results to be different.”
—Albert Einstein

“No person who is enthusiastic about his work has anything
to fear from life.”
—Samuel Goldwyn

“All of us do not have equal talent, but all of us should
have an equal opportunity to develop our talent.”
—John F. Kennedy

“Every manager knows how to count, but smart managers
know what counts.”
—Anonymous

“There are two things people want more than sex and
money … recognition and praise.”
—Mary Kay Ash, Founder, Mary Kay Cosmetics

“Leadership is performance. You have to be conscious of
your behavior, because everyone else is.”
—Carly Fiorina, CEO, Hewlett Packard

“The shortest and best way to make your fortune is to let
people see that it is in their interests to promote yours”
—Jean de La Bruyere, 17th-century French Writer

“People want to feel what they do makes a difference.”
—Frances Hesselbein, President, The Drucker Foundation

“If you want someone to do a good job, give them a
good job to do.”
—Frederick Herzberg, Management Theorist
“We must exchange the philosophy of excuse—
what I am is beyond my control—for the philosophy
of responsibility.”
—Barbara Jordan, lawyer and former member of congress

“The trust that we put in ourselves makes us feel
trust in others.”
—François de la Rochefoucauld, 17th-century French writer

“We must do more than simply do things right—we must
also do the right things.”
—Excerpt from “Our Values,” Pfizer Pharmaceutical

“All I wanna do is have some fun. I got a feeling
I’m not the only one.”
—Sheryl Crow, Recording Artist


“There’s only one way to know how strong employee
motivation is throughout your company—ask the people
who actually work there. If the de-motivators are seeping
in, then it’s time to put the kibosh on any and all demotivators
in a hurry!”
—Anonymous

“Recruit your people everyday, even though your crew is
already on board.”
—Mike Abrashoff, Founder, Grassroots Leadership LLC, Boston, MA


“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is
progress; working together is success.”
—Henry Ford


“Work can provide the opportunity for spiritual and personal,
as well as financial, growth. If it doesn’t, then
we’re wasting far too much of our lives on it.”
—James A. Autry, Love and Profit: The Art of Caring Leadership

THIS IS HOW WE MISS OUT SOMETHING CALLED "LIFE"

A beautiful message!!

THIS IS HOW WE MISS OUT SOMETHING CALLED "LIFE"

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just 5 words.


QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?


ANSWER:
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"


The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child.

What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.


If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.


MORAL OF THE STORY:
This story is really worth reading. .... Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know.


By this way we miss out something called L.I.F.E.

Guide to Cultivating Fabulous Friendships!

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wys

Few people would dispute the benefits of friendship. Friendship cannot be created once. It must be created over and over again. People and priorities change. What worked yesterday may not work today. We must nurture our friendships so they may flourish with us through our changing lives, and that’s where this guide comes in. The problem seems to be how to fit our friends into an already overcrowded life.

Choose friends wisely. Focus your energy on people who make you feel good.
We all know the saying, “you can’t choose your family”. So, make sure you’re smart and choose friends who are worthy of your valuable time and attention. It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you have ever made. No one has the time and energy for that. If you don’t consciously choose which relationships to focus on, you’ll spread yourself too thin and you’ll have less to give to those who deserve it most.

Do not be fooled by glamour and street cred. A person’s behavior is much more important than their words or how they represent themselves. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you. People who make your day a little sunnier, simply by being in it.

Make time. Prioritize Relationships.
If you have to really think about the last time you were in contact with a friend, then it was too long ago. Life can run at a crazy pace. We may think of people, then something comes up and we never call them. The month ends, another comes along, and again that call is never made. This is how relationships peter out. It starts to feel easier to walk away than struggle back through the neglect.

Don’t fall into the habit of thinking I’ll “try and find the time”. It’s a cop-out. You cannot find time. You make time. Every day you decide where to put your attention, and those activities will in turn create your day, your week and eventually your life. Be mindful of where you focus your time and energy. Does this match your values and how you want your life to be? There’s no use saying “my family and friends are the most important thing” if you work 80 hours a week and never see them. Be conscious of how you spend your time and choose to prioritize the people in your life.

The easiest way to make time for friends is to organize future gatherings while you are all together. Make time for that first meeting, and then work out the timing of the next one. That way you’ll manage to regularly see each other and there is less stress all round. The reality is most of our relationships need work. Make the time to send an email or give a quick phone call to show your friends they matter. Otherwise how will they know?

Treat others how you want to be treated.
This is one of the first lessons my mother taught me, and it is probably the most important. You may have heard of the law of attraction, which states that what we project to the world will be sent right back to us. This means you must decide what qualities are important to you, because you cannot receive what you do not give.

Personally, I don’t think you can go past honesty, loyalty and integrity as a foundation for choosing friends. Be considerate. Don’t make plans you won’t keep. Be a safe haven for your friends, someone they can rely on. What qualities rank highly for you? Do you just want some laughs every now and then, or people who will be there for you when life throws you a curve ball?

Have fun. Share rituals. Laugh Often.
Any long term relationship, friendships included, can fall into a rut. Take the time to have fun, maybe do the activities you loved when you were young. If life isn’t fun, then what’s the point? Misery shared is still… well, misery. Focus on joy and laughter and your friendships will stay a positive presence in your life.

Hold onto rituals. They connect you with your friends and your youth. Shared memories help define our life and how we see ourselves. Don’t throw them away just because they’re getting harder to manage. The key is to negotiate. Maybe you used to have weekly poker games, but now you have three kids, so what do you do? Have the poker games once a month, and let your partner also have a night out to re-connect with their friends. You’ll both benefit.

Accept people the way they are. Suspend judgment.
Some people are good with phone calls, others are not. Some people always know the right thing to say, others seem to have a knack for getting it all wrong. The key with managing friendships and reducing conflict is to accept people the way they are. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Fighting your friends’ natural personality is a losing battle. We cannot control other people, and frankly, we have no right to try. The sooner we accept this, the easier all our relationships become.

Respect boundaries.
Don’t criticize your friend’s partner, children, parenting style or family. This is always a no, no. We may all like to rant about our loved ones, but we do not want to hear anyone else do it. This is a golden rule. Stencil it on your forehead if you must.

There will be disagreements. Stay calm. Don’t make mountains out of molehills.
Drama is a part of life, but we don’t have to wallow in it. Things happen, ugly words can be exchanged. This is the nature of human relationships. Before you react to a hurtful situation with a friend, always stop and breathe. Try not to react in anger. Express your feelings honestly, but calmly. I’m not saying that it’s easy, but it is the best way to minimize conflict and angst in life. And bottling up feelings doesn’t help either. They just fester and we stay angry and are unable to move on.

Accept that friendships change and sometimes end.
Although I’ve had the majority of my friendships since I was a teenager, there are times in life when people change enough as to have nothing in common anymore. Sometimes this is temporary, other times it’s not. Either way, the best thing you can do when a relationship falters is to let it go. That doesn’t mean immediately deciding not to see each other anymore. Letting go means choosing to see the friendship as it is now, and releasing the need for it to be something else. Relationships have an energy of their own. They can ebb and flow. Sometimes you’re not quite clicking, other times you are. Petering out friendships can be very stressful, but change is a part of life and relationships which do end can still be treasured for what they brought before. They don’t have to be a mistake. And every time a gap appears, life will usually move in to fill it. Maybe this will be in the form of a new friend, or a even better relationship with yourself. Keep an open mind and an open heart, and wait and see

Treat yourself with kindness and respect, and others will do the same.
This is probably the most important point. You cannot be a friend to others, if you are not a friend to yourself. Have you ever noticed that some people are taken advantage of by everyone. They attract users and frauds like honey. This is not a coincidence. If you want other people to treat you with respect, then you need to be the first person in line to respect yourself. Being a good friend does not mean being a doormat. The kinder you are to yourself the happier you will be. The happier you are, the more you have to give to others. It is one big merry-go-round of happiness. Join the ride.

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking

The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.” - Dalai Lama

Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.

Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.

Let’s take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking

1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can’t be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you’ll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.

3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.

4. I am a miserable failure — I can’t seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.

5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.

7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.

8. Your work sucks. It’s super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I’ve actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That’s a good thing.

9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.

10. I don’t think I can do this — I don’t have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.